You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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