Im at strip club and am horny
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
you never un-have a 4some
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
