he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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