Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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