I'm really into asian looking animals
I CAN MOONWALK!
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
