As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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