I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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