Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
