bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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