I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
