ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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