That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Damn victory sex feels great
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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