I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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