I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
