I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
