How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
