Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
