Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
