So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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