Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
