i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
