come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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