too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
