I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
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