doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
