then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
