Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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