dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Randomize
