Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
