K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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