Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
We need to get me chipped asap
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
