So drunk its hurt
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Randomize
