help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
