Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
