She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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