Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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