i permit you to call me
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
