I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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