wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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