Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
