Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
