Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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