halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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