It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
