so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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