i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
