just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
