I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
