wakey wakey hands off snakey
Farmville is her only friend.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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