He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
