It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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