he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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